On Febuary 14th, at 2:26 pm I gave birth to a 9 pound, 4 ounce little girl!
On Monday I went back to the hospital to try and induce labor once more. It was basically a repeat of Friday- we dropped Cora off at school, went in, and I got all jonny’ed up and monitored. I got a dose of cytotec and had the joy of laying down for 2 hours following while hooked up to the monitors. Then there was just a lot of down time as we waited to see if anything happened.
After 4 hours, the doctor checked in and suggested another dose. Rinse and repeat.
At around 8:00 I saw my doctor, who had been off for 2 weeks and he said I should go home. I made an appointment for the following day to get another normal non-stress test and he said he’d check me then because he didn’t think he’d find anything if he checked me right then. I made that appointment and an appointment for Friday for an ultrasound and left.
When I left the hospital, I was having fairly regular braxton hicks contractions. I drove myself home and wasn’t very talkative as I watched and saw that the tightening in my abdomen was about every 3 minutes and was fairly significant. It wasn’t painful though, just tight. told Josh we’d figure out everything later because I had a feeling things may be starting.
When we got home, I talked with Cora for a while and then wanted to go to bed just in case this was the beginning of something real. This was around 10:00. At around 11:00, the tightness got painful. I tried to find a position to get somewhat comfortable and tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. At around 1:00 am it was getting pretty bad. I let Josh snore away and got up and took a shower. The thing that was tough was that the contractions were every 1-2 minutes right out of the gate. After the shower I tested to see if I could still talk through them- I could, but they were getting worse quickly. I got dressed and woke Josh up and told him we were going to go back to the hospital.
That car ride was as bad as the one with Cora- save this time there was no snow and Josh didn’t pause to give a guy directions, but the contractions were very consistently every 1-2 minutes and went from 0-60 in that one car ride. I joked that I was going to try the “swear it out” method of pain management and swore heavily when a contraction came and Josh didn’t slow down or would hit a bump. When we got to the hospital, I was officially at the “climb the wall” stage. With Cora, the tightness to CTW took almost 48 hours. This was closer to 48 minutes.
I got checked into the hospital in the same room I gave birth to Cora in and got all hooked up. I told the nurse that I’ve done the natural route already once and wanted to try something else this time. I suggested trying the narcotic shot first and we waited for the full monitor strip and the doctor’s check. That took until 4 am. I was 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced- given earlier that day there was nothing, at least there was progress. I was just very taken aback by how little time there was between the contractions. The nurse suggested that I go right for the epidural. She said if I did the shot and then chose to do the epidural, it would be around 7 am which was the shift change and it would get crazy. I agreed, also realizing that it would take a while to actually get ready for it (they had to put a full bag of fluid through my IV and do some checking before I could get it) and I was eager to get something soon. I nervously said do it and got another monitor strip done as we waited for the anesthesiologist.
At 5:00 am I got the epidural.
I was not sure what to expect but was pretty nervous about getting it. I asked the nurse if we would wait to do it between contractions and she said “um, they usually just go ahead and do it”. Not encouraged. Josh had to leave the room and was told he could come back in about 20 minutes.
I got all situated on the bed and the anesthesiologist got to work on my back. He pushed and prodded to feel my vertebrae and started to tape me up and clean the area.
He touched my back with something and I jumped. The nurse laughed and said it was just the pen marking the spot. Then he gave me the numbing shot. It burned a bit but wasn’t terrible. Step 1 down!
Then he said he was actually inserting the epidural catheter. I asked the nurse to talk to me to distract me so we made guesses as to what time the baby would be born. I could feel him insert it but it just felt weird- it didn’t hurt. It felt like something small being put into my back and fishing around a little. I didn’t realize it would take a little bit of time and it was a really odd feeling. At one point I shouted out because it felt like a bolt of electricity going down my left leg. I had to stay in that sitting, hunched position for about 10 minutes as he taped the tube up my back, cleaned the area, and did everything and even in that time I could feel an edge being taken off of the contractions. Finally he was done and had me lay down.
And then things completely changed.
It felt like with each contraction, it was rewinding in pain. All of the pain build up went backwards, until it was back to just the tightness. I could still feel everything, just without the pain. I could move my feet and legs, they just felt mostly (but not completely) asleep. Eventually I couldn’t feel any pain at all and it was glorious. I was completely aware and didn’t feel any different, except for the lack of pain. I get why women do this!!
The most annoying part of it all was how many monitors I needed on me.
A run down:
Today was due date. Had some bloody show and cramping but that’s it.
Doctor prescribed rest, a walk and sex.
Still no baby!
I showed up at the hospital around 9:30 on Friday morning with josh in tow, not quite sure what to expect. I had called on Thursday to get more information, but mostly to ask if I should bring Josh with me or not. She said yes, so together we brought Cora to school and were led to the once again familiar hospital room that seems to be ours.
I had yet another non stress test and again, baby wasn’t very cooperative. I’m beginning to think she doesn’t like mornings. The nurses did a full intake and asked every question imaginable and then left for a bit. They came back and said the doctor ( who I still hadn’t seen) wanted to send me for an ultrasound to see “how aggressive she should be”. I wasn’t really sure what that meant, but we took a tour through the hospital and waited outside the room until it was my turn to go in and have another biophysical done on baby. Cause 1 per week just wasn’t enough… After a too-long time (baby wouldn’t do the breathing they look for), finally she got her 8 out of 8 points and I was sent back upstairs.
I got in a jonnie (woo!?) and finally saw the doctor on call. She said we’d go ahead with the “ripening” (sounds fruity). It could urge labor to start immediately or could take a while.
The drug they were giving me, called cytotec, was featured in a documentary I watched recently called Pregnant in America. It’s a tablet used for ulcers that isn’t FDA approved for induction but is commonly used. The scare antics of the movie had me a bit nervous and I kept thinking about the women who died as a result of this drug… I put it out of mind as the doctor inserted it and left so I could eat lunch.
Already this was shaping up to be different. I had to again have a IV lock out into the back of my hand which never stopped hurting the entire 12 hours I had it in. I also had to stay on the monitor for a couple of hours. 2vessel cord babies can have problems tolerating labor, even if they’ve been fine all along. My Braxton hicks were getting more noticeable and more regular and baby started looking really good on the monitors, so that was encouraging. The nurse said though that when labor starts, I’ll need to stay on the monitor which means no using the tub . That was disappointing- it was one of the reasons I chose this hospital. My logic now though is that if I have to be stationary anyway, I might as well consider and epidural.
I tried to nap, thinking if a baby is on her way, I’ll need it. The 2 monitors strapped to my belly though and the needle in my hand didn’t really allow for much rest.
Eventually, they let me come off the monitor. Josh and I watched money all and just waited.
And waited.
The doctor left and a new doctor was coming on around 8:30.
She came in around 9 and did the most painful, uncomfortable internal exam I’ve ever had. I was only 1cm dilated and the baby was still really high up and wasn’t moving I to position.
Then she gave me a choice. They could give me another medicine to ripen my cervix, one that was supposed to take a bit longer (overnight) and keep the induction going, or I could go home. She said that after the morning NST that wasn’t great, baby did really good all day and she felt comfortable that she’d be ok if I left.
Pros to staying were convenience, getting it over with, and being considerate of Josh and his mon Beth’s time off. I also don’t want to go too much over my due date. Though it doesn’t seem like the 2 vessel cord is doing much to hold baby back, it does still cause some concern.
Pros to leaving we’re pretty much baby just didn’t seem ready. The more interventions they do, the higher the risk for c-section. Josh also pointed out he had a cold and wouldn’t mind a couple more days to get over it so as to minimize risk to baby.
We called the nurses and doctor back in and said we’d go home. Part of me was disappointed because I had been explicitly told I wasn’t leaving without a baby, but it also just seems par for the course with this kid. It’s amazing how she already is showing her stubborn attitude and she hasn’t even been born!
Snow is expected for Saturday… I figure that’s the encouragement she’ll need to make an appearance!
4 weeks of antepartum testing and I’ve finally got it under my belt.
My nurse buddy Judy has been my Tuesday non stress test companion. Today she didn’t like baby’s inactivity. She classified the test as “non reactive” meaning she didn’t have the 3-4 accelerations she was supposed to have. “she’s not
,” she clarified. “she’s just not great either.” Several times Judy had to leave the room and I held the monitor in place and watched the numbers. Do this twice a week for 4 weeks and you start to look at the chart paper like a nurse, counting squares and hoping to see peaks that are 4×4.
The ultrasound was similar. Baby was just … Quiet. Deb, my ultrasound tech who has also been there each week, had to zap me twice- like a hand buzzer on my abdomen that made a loud sound that should startle the baby into movement. She did get her 8 out of 8, but this time was different.
The doctor did an internal exam afterwards. Said I was a “fingertip” dilated. She told me if I was just a bit more ready, she’d suggest doing some interventions right then, but instead had me make an appointment for Friday to ripen my cervix and maybe strip my membranes to get things moving along.
Too bad, I had picked 2/7 as a good birthday. To wait more!
After asking for a lot of advice and really thinking about it, I decided to have the version procedure to try and flip Baby to be head down. I figured as much as the risks freaked me out, they were very low chance and I didn’t want to regret at least not trying.
So yesterday I called and said I wanted to schedule it. I said the dr on Tuesday told me it would be Tuesday. The nurse called me back later and said, “Dr. Mollov wants to do it tomorrow.”. “Ah! I’m not ready for it to be tomorrow!” She laughed and told me to go to the birth center for 10:30.
I had read a lot about the procedure but still wasn’t quite sure to expect. I had to “prep” though as if I were having a c-section, just in case. So no eating or drinking after midnight, and having a back up plan for Cora in case we weren’t leaving the hospital. I at least thought about packing my hospital bag. But that just consisted of the essentials- my phone, my iPad, and their chargers. I figured if it really was an emergency hospital stay, I’d make due and the basics would be provided by the hospital.
Josh came with me. I wasn’t really sure if he should, I mean this was sort of minor right? I was just thinking if something went wrong I wanted him there. I’m so glad he was the though- the whole thing was a LOT more “hospital” than I thought it would be.
We dropped Cora off at school and made our way up to Newburyport. When I got to the birth center, they brought me to a room- the same room in fact where I spent 2 days after having Cora. I had a nurse- Katie, who had me get into a jonny and get into bed and explained everything that would happen. She then hooked me up to the monitors to do a non stress test.
“Have you experienced anything we should know about? You think your water broke, cramping…?” “No, nothing like that” “Any contractions?” “Nope” “Cause you just had one”
I guess while I was on the monitors I had quite a few small contractions. Katie and I decided though it was because I was dehydrated.
Then I had to have a line out in. I’ve never had that done before. Katie put the needle in my right hand, which really hurt and burned. And of course, something went wrong with it, she had to remove it and get it to stop bleeding. Ow. Another nurse came in to try the other hand and that one hurt too but at least it stayed.
By now it was about 1130. Katie told me about the shot I was about to get that would relax my uterus. She said it might make me feel jittery and make my heart race. I don’t think it did that, but I did feel odd and made my teeth chatter, but that could’ve also been nerves. Katie said thy give the drugs about 20 minutes and then start.
First up was the ultrasound tech and her student coming in. As they were setting up, the doctor came in and had me sign all of the releases- yes I know there are risks. Yes, if something goes wrong, I’ll have a c-section. Yes, if something goes wrong with the c-section I can have a blood transfusion.
They adjusted the bed so my head was down a little so it was almost a reverse incline. The ultrasound tech started probing to see what position baby was in.
On Tuesday’s ultrasound, Baby was Frank breech- her bum was on my right bottom, her head on my right at top, her feet against her face and one arm straight out on my left.
The tech exclaimed that now her head was still on the right, but more midlevel, her bum was on the left, her spine across the top of my belly and her arms and legs down, pointed at my crotch.
“That little stinker!” was all I could think! That meant she had not only just flipped, but had turned too, like rotated completely.
The doctor thought this was all very fascinating. He sad it was good. “well, good AND bad. The good news is that it will be easier to turn her. The bad news is, she’s a lot more likely to flip again.”
And then he got started.
The actual procedure took 2 minutes. But all of the other pieces and everything it took to prep made it all very hospital.
Those 2 minutes though… It was a controlled chaos of the tech reporting where the baby was, the doctor pushing on me and asking where the head was now. The pushing though was more single fingers than I expected- I though it would feel like pushing when it was more like the biggest, worst poke ever. It _hurt_.
He got her to rotate, had them lift the head of the bed quickly, but the tech said she had moved back some, so the bed went back down and he poked even harder, keeping the head between his fingers as he pushed and poked by her bum. Katie helped me take deep breaths and said encouraging things, but I was pretty sure between the chattering teeth and pain, I would just flat out start crying.
When her head was down, still between his fingers, they brought me up to sitting again and watched her heart beat on the monitor. It did drop- the tech at one point sounded a bit concerned but the doctor said it was normal and it would come back up. And it did. When she stayed around 140bpm, they all started packing up to go. The doctor said “well, it worked, but it was just a little too easy. Let’s just hope she stays head down.”
Katie hooked me back to the monitors and said I had to stay, slightly elevated, on the monitor for an hour. She warned me I might crash and I did- hard. Post pain/ adrenaline type exhaustion. Baby was moving a lot. I figured she was like, “well this is a new view!”. It felt like she was stretching and pushing, getting a sense of her new diggs. After about 45 minutes Katie said it looked good enough that I was cleared to eat. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and it was awesome.
Finally it was officially declared that it looked like Baby was doing great (“seriously- like the best I’ve ever seen after a version” Katie told me) and I could get dressed and go home. I had the needle in my hand taken out, the bracelet cut and got dressed.
So about 4ish hours from arrival to when I left, temporary extreme discomfort and pain, and then a grilled cheese sandwich. Now we hope she stays put! Come on baby, throw me a bone!
Given this sly type personality emerging, I’m adding to my list:
Harper (love this, only downside is a couple of celebrities used it) Pepper
I jokingly described this baby today as “quiet but devious”. Boy did I peg her.
From the beginning she has thwarted any plans I had. A couple I can’t really fault her for: my “plans” included more time between kids and that I’d have a girl and then a boy. Ok, ok, those two aren’t really on her.
But then she went and had a “complication”. Uh, no- I had a great first pregnancy. Is this her way of asserting early sibling rivalry? “Hey Mom! I’ll make sure you pay attention to me, heh heh heh”.
Alright, whatever. It was still just a chance. I could still have other plans.
So I started thinking about my birth preferences. I decided I wouldn’t be as opposed this time to pain meds. I’ve done the all natural birth, this time, maybe I’ll get some chemical assistance.
But then another major wrench: I’m 36 1/2 weeks along now and the little stinker is breech!
I started my antepartum testing today which involved going to he hospital in Newburyport (over an hour from my house), having an ultrasound to check 4 different biological functions and size, then a non-stress test to watch for 4 “spikes” of activity and then a doctor’s appointment to review it all. And I get to do this twice a week until the big day.
The ultrasound was up first. The tech touched the wand to my belly and within 2 seconds declared, “uh, she’s breech!”
“Ha! Of course she is!” I said. “But I still have almost 4 weeks, there’s time, right?”
“uhhhh…” she said, not committing to a full on no.
The good news from the ultrasound is that she’s already 6 lbs, 13 oz! And still has the potential of a couple more pounds!
So what I took from this news is her exclaiming, “that cord issue? Yeah, don’t worry, I got bored of that problem. I wanted to shake things up a bit and try something new!”
My choices are I can make an appointment to have an ECV or “version” done where the doctor will push and pry to try and manually turn her. It has about a 50% success rate. The downside is 1) it sounds painful and 2) there could be complications with detaching the placenta or breaking the water or the baby’s heart rate plummeting- if any of that happened they would do an immediate, emergency c-section. oh, and this would happen on Tuesday. So there is a small chance I’d have a baby in less than a week.
The second choice is to just schedule a c-section at 39 weeks.
I’m leaning towards having the procedure done. With a 50/50 shot, it would almost relieve me from making the decision. It will either work or it won’t and I’d have to schedule the c-section anyway.
Course that would be letting this baby decide. And so far, she’s just thrown wrench after wrench into my plans.
I need to add some more names to my list that describe this personality and appropriately personify her as the cunning, devious punk she is turning out to be!
Thoughts? Too bad Penn (as in “and Teller”) took Moxie for his daughter.
The days are counting down now and I’m feeling woefully unprepared. If I felt more confident on this little girl’s name I think I’d feel better! So help with suggestions!
The names on our short list are: –Ainsley (nickname??) –Kerrigan (doesn’t have a good nickname though. Anything like karen or Kerri just wouldn’t work for me) –Rhiannon
There are some names I’ve heard on tv recently that I love. I don’t actually want to use any of them, but they could be used as inspiration. Any thoughts? –Grayson (contestant on top chef) –Kenley (project runway. Love this one) –Piper (almost too common, but I do really like the name)
Help me brainstorm!!
Dumb internet. Dumb, silly, can’t-live-without-it internet.
My doctor’s appointment last week talked about the “antepartum testing” I’d need to “watch me closer” because of the 2-Vessel Cord defect (also called SUA).
“What does that mean, ‘Watch me closer?’”
The cornerstone of Brene Brown's "Wholehearted" lecture
“Starting at 36 weeks, you’ll basically live at the hospital. You’ll have an ultrasound every week, 2 non-stress tests a week, and your regular appointment.”
So I googled “Antepartum testing” and “2 vessel cord”.
After I read story after story after story of pregnant women losing their babies in the last couple weeks of pregnancy, I felt like crying. Or yelling. Or that I’d already been crying and yelling.
It seems I’m not out of the woods- that with this defect, one of the main times things can go wrong is at 36+ weeks, and by going wrong, it’s just suddenly the baby’s heart stops beating.
This is the blog post who’s comments had me most alarmed.
I knew I needed to let it go, there was nothing I could do, but I also needed to allow myself a bit of freaking out before working on calming down.
Last week I had the incredible pleasure to go to a talk by Brene Brown. Her Ted Talk on vulnerability is one of the most inspirational talks I’ve ever seen. It resonated so loudly… I even wrote and printed to hang in my office one of the quotes from the talk:
Remember the…
The phrase “lean into the discomfort” was also a powerful one for me to hear.
In her talk, she reiterated many of these concepts, but added a piece called “Joy becomes forboding”.
“Imagine this movie. Happy family is bundled in car, singing Christmas carols. They drive down a dark road on their way to grandmother’s house. Outside it’s cold and dark, but the camera pans over each family member’s face to show the absolute joy each is feeling… What happens next?”
70% of respondents say “car crash”. She said most of the other 30% respond with something more creative, like serial killer has attacked grandmom. Regardless though, it’s a macabre prediction.
“Why is joy forbidding? Why do, when things are at their best, do we assume something terrible will happen? We have this nature to beat vulnerability to the punch. ’I will squander this moment just so you can’t hurt me.’ Why do we lose joy every day for safety and certainty? If you talk to people who have ‘gotten that call’, they always say that no amount of planning prepares you. So why squander the joy preparing for something that will hurt no matter what?”
I thought about the call from Kay when she told me my dad had just died. Regardless of his illness and that I knew it was coming, it didn’t hurt any less to actually hear it.
So I let myself freak out a little after googling everything that could go wrong with Baby #2. But Brene’s words keep coming back… if something does go wrong, it will hurt whether I worry about it or not.
Here’s to practicing the “not”!
When I told Kathy at work I was expecting, she congratulated me, and then said “I just have one request. Please start thinking of names now!”
So we’ve been thinking, brainstorming and searching.
My basic criteria: can’t be common and needs to either be 1) Celtic (Irish or welsh), 2) scientific (something astronomical or geological would be awesome) or 3) be a word (as in not a name, but the word for something). Oh, and it should go with Cora.
So here’s the chance to give us suggestions! What’s a name that meets those requirements!
Our top choices so far:
Ainsley Kerrigan Seren Devanney Rhinnon Niamh Nia Peregrine Moira
Thoughts?? More to add? Help!
